Uncouth

Okay, I really do try to be positive in all my postings but I’ve got something under my skin. Growing up in rural TN and living most of my adult life in the area, I am unfamiliar with mannerisms and traditions of foreign cultures including Asian, Arabic or even European.

Nowhere am I more aware of the differences than when sitting down to have a meal.
I am clumsy with chopsticks and have no clue how they survive without knives or spoons, especially when the food is so good I just want to scoop the tiny pieces. I know very little of Prosecco, Sake or Champagne and their serving methods. I don’t know if it is proper form to use my fingers when eating Arabic food…In all these instances I use my own judgment, watch others and try not to offend my fellow diners.

As a Southerner I’m sensitive to the clichéd attributes of being ignorant and uncouth. To my way of thinking having “manners” is not so much about knowing the exact protocol as it is to show respect for others and to make them feel comfortable. This is what famous Southern hospitality is all about - making others feel welcomed, appreciated and respected. There are some who think the “form” their manners take is more important than how it affects those around them. They boast that their manners set them apart and displays to others their superior sophistication.

I had the unpleasant occasion to dine with such a couple recently who made a big deal out of perceived faux pas committed by the rest of us, taking time to completely enlighten us on their advanced experience. I wonder if these people realize just how alienating it is to the others around them; how much their behavior shows their total lack of manners.

The traits of ignorance and uncouth are certainly not unique to American Southerners.